Like perfection, the concept of complete happiness no longer feels practical or even relevant. I no longer possess the energy to waste a single moment of my time mulling over unrealistic notions that leave me feeling... less than human.
But I am human. Sometimes that frustrates me just the same. I will make mistakes, I will have failures, and I will always be changing - developing, evolving.
All of the "in between" I've wasted so many days fighting to be at peace with happens to be the very conflict that creates chaos, the opposite of that which I attempt to accomplish within myself.
So happiness - I'm no longer concerned with. Above all desires I have: knowledge, intellect, self awareness, and self sustainability - peace within myself has taken top priority.
The moment I gave up on the idea of "happiness", and began to find peace was the moment my entire perspective changed. And the moment I change, the world around me suddenly made more sense, and once again I feel human.
I am human.
And so are all of you.
Love it. Just love it! Worry is all about what isn't actually real or happening. Wasted energy on what-if's. And if we aren't failing, we aren't trying. We learn from mistakes. We grow from them. And we can really enjoy where we land, like you have! It took me a lot longer to realize what you've stated here, so you're already ahead of the game. :-)
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