Everything Changes
A very honest, self-fulfilled woman once told me, "every woman's life changes every 3 months." She went on to explain how a woman must keep up with a certain amount of maintenance in her life to be successful and self-fulfillment will come with routine or schedule of accomplishments. Aside from the context I'm not about to explain, the point that standards must me kept to be a self-fulfilling, or accomplished, or happy woman. Everything in your life can change so drastically within what could seem like a week or a lifetime.
For example, I don't remember the exact last date I posted, but since then I've discovered I'm pregnant. Actually, I'm about five and half months along. I'm having a baby boy, which I've always secretly wanted more than a girl. The point being my life has done a 360 from a month or two ago. For reasons I didn't know were a threat, I didn't realize until I began to show about four and half months along.
It's amazing how suddenly you can become an incubator to a human life one of the biggest changes a human can make aside from committing suicide, going into witness protection, getting married or divorced. These things that are both planned and unplanned, pregnancy having a unique ability to be either. I do understand almost every single cliche about pregnancy though, which is really something only after you experience it yourself can you truly understand why they are so overused they become cliches.
It's been difficult too, of course. Many of my friends I would have seen a few times in the past month have barely spoken much to me. On the other hand, many people I haven't spoken to in long periods of time are coming out of the woodwork to congratulate or give advice to me. There are so many things I'm learning now that it's quite evident on my stomach and my body that I have something fragile and precious stirring inside. He moves. A lot. Much more active than I expected and in a day or two he will be able to kick.
From a physical perspective, I completely understand why it is not only the hours of labor, but the months of actually harboring a miniature person inside, is held over a child's head when being scorned.
This brings me to another factor of pregnancy: I suddenly have much more appreciation and respect for my mother, who was also pregnant for the first time at 20, and I know she appreciates that. We've become closer in just this past month, it's amazing. I finally understand and respect what she went through to get by as a young mother just for her children. She is an amazing woman that went through thick and thin to give both Sean and I a functional, wholesome childhood.
